“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”RenĂ© Karl Wilhelm Johann Josef Maria Rilke







Sunday, November 10, 2013

Look in Another's Eyes

I’ve always liked to have my opinions. It bothers me when I don’t have an answer or haven’t come to some sort of conclusion on a matter. Yet there are so many issues about which I ride the fence, high above the ground, afraid to fall to one side and lose sight of the other. Yet as I balance aimlessly, I’m also hoping someone comes along with a winding argument strong enough to blow me to a place where I feel grounded. Half of me desires to be the wallflower stuck on the wall separating opinions, the other half wants to fall to the ground and expand my roots. But I don’t like the idea of expanding them in one direction, particularly not six-feet-deep with a narrow mind and an unbending opinion, losing sight of the potential that I am wrong.

On other issues, the ones where my roots have gone to a deadly depth, I like that the wall is there. I do not touch it, but I cherish the separation from those that disagree with me. It feels safe among those who don’t challenge me and, like myself, have become content to be stuck there free from new perspectives. I like to know what I stand for. It also feels stifling, though, and I long for new information. Here’s where the other side could kindly toss us a bit of manure, which would at first appear revolting, but might just give us the growth that we needed.  

Sadly, the wall/fence is just too high and wide. What I’m saying here is that when it comes to forming opinions, maybe we should be extremely careful, but careful of extremes. In both the above scenarios, the wall felt safe, but safe from what? Others’ judgement? Being wrong? Making mistakes? Being alone? Maybe the safety of the wall serves a good purpose, but maybe not. What if the wall did not exist? What if we stood on the boundary between opinions, not above the fight on the fence like a coward, but on the ground firmly and confidently, and look each other in the eyes.
            
Look each other in the eyes. Not to intimidate. Not to glare. But to step for a minute into another’s world. Who are they? And why do they believe the way they do? Let’s tear down the wall, or at the very least, create a few peepholes.

 

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